October 1, 2015

Diabolik Lovers – Anime

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dialovers2Type: TV
Episodes: 12
Status: Finished Airing
Aired: Sep 16, 2013 to Dec 9, 2013
Duration: 15 min. per ep.
Rating: R – 17+ (violence & profanity)

 


Synopsis


Yui Komori used to see dead people. But as troubling as past glimpses of spirits, poltergeists, and psychic phenomena may have been, they pale into insignificance compared to what she’s about to discover once she’s forced to transfer to a new school. Because it turns out that her own history is very different from what she thought it was, and she has a very different kind of family waiting for her.

Now she’ll be sharing her living space with six very attractive young men, though not a single one is human. And while her new dorm mates may be brothers, and their attraction to her involves her bloodline, “brotherly” is the last word to describe their intentions. In moving from her father’s church to becoming the object of six blood lusting young vampires’ affections, Yui will undergo the most shocking, soul ripping and draining experience any teenage girl could imagine in her wildest fantasies… or most salacious nightmares.


Review – Candy


Guide for watching Diabolik Lovers:
Step 1: DON’T FUCKING DO IT!!!
Step 2: SRSLY, don’t do it!!!!
If steps 1 and 2 have been ignored, resort to step 3
Step 3: Turn off your brain, have no expectations, and get ready to either suffer or laugh your way through 12 episodes of “The Adventures of Bitch-chan” (one of the guys literally named her this)

LOL THIS FUCKING SHOW!!! If I didn’t love trash shows, there’s no way I would have been able to sit through this hahahah.
Diabolik Lovers is a reverse harem filled with sexy bishie vampires that, of course, are all assholes, or as they try to call em, sadist, because girls love that shit (WARNING, THIS IS FOR THE M LADIES, S LADIES, MOVE ALONG OR LAUGH ALONG WITH MY HORRIBLE S SELF). Now we add to the mix our totally emotionless heroine who lacks any semblance of a personality. She’s best girl, I know, docile and takes it all, that’s how every girl should be amiright tho?!

Please please please let’s talk about the plot!! YES, there’s a plot! And it’s so ridiculous that I couldn’t stop myself from almost laughing myself to tears. This ho gets told to move into a house with a bunch of vamp bishies (to be their bride or something), who immediately start harassing her, verbally and physically, and she’s just like….well I can’t leave -insert cry face- and the whole time I’m like, girl you can actually pack your bags and dip, like yesterday! BUT WAIT,THERE’S MORE!!! There are reasons all these boys are assholes, because you know, we womenfolk love our men with tragic backgrounds, emo, and brooding, YEAH! Okay so like they all share the same father, who’s an ass and decided, ayyyeee lets get all my baby mommas in one place with their children, that’s like best idea! Yup, vampires can have babies in this one guys! Naturally all these bitches hate eachohter, and their own sons, except for the one locked in the tower I think, idr, too many bitches, too little time. BUT THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Long story short, we switch between present and flashbacks basically revealing these boys bitch moms and this main ho who I think the main girls dad is trying to revive by using her body because priest are life. Yea, her dad is a priest and sent her to a house full of vampires because friendship? Idr, it was fucking dumb. Point is, this ho literally lets this whole plot happen to her. She just walks around like oh, I’m being abused, and possessed, unfortunate. Best girl, 10/10, would aspire to be like again.

If that wasn’t bad enough, they try to throw a genuine love story into this shit, well of course they do since its based off an otome game and you know, routes n shit. So like, out of nowhere, one confesses to loving her or something (lesbreal, they all love her, its a fucking otome) even though the whole time he just abused and harassed her and she just took it. That blood was too good. Ohhhhh did I forget to mention that every time these vamp hos suck her blood they get the biggest hard on or something because her blood is like addictive as fuck. That’s what our heroine has got going for her…addictive delicious blood. I mean at least she has that, some girls can’t even manage that! Okay back to my point, so he’s like don’t worry boo, I’ll protect you and BOOM! End series….yup, out of nowhere. God Damnit it was funny.

It’s not all fun and games though, this show is srs bsnss okay. These menfolk have real dark issues! Most of them have been devoid of love and just need a kind touch, because that’s how life is okay! For our viewing convenience, they all have color soared hair and pretty lil eyes. They all match some type of archetype, all different versions of being an asshole sadist. We have our cute psychotic asshole, don’t take his fucking bunny! We then have our smart megane asshole, he’ll use you as a guinea pig to test his new potions, mm I smell true love! Then we have the loner asshole you sleeps all the time and listens to his brooding ass music, because that’s attractive. Let’s not forget the best asshole, flirt asshole, who will fuck you and call you all types of horrible things as he does it, he’s my fav. Then there’s the one I forgot about because he literally left no impression on me, I’nm sure he’s loved by someone. Finally it’s our main asshole, the one who wants dat ass the most! He’s the typical asshole, nothing more harsh or crazy then the others, plus he gets the most screen time with main ho. They have cute moments….that turn into “you two gonna fuck or nah?”.

Sooo, animation is whatever, episodes are like 12 mins because obviously this show got the biggest budget, it def deserves it with writing like this! Art is still pre nice though but them background are a paste on LOL.Characters…yea. Sounds…now here we go, they want this so sound sexual, so enjoy creaming them pants because there’s a lot of noises that do not belong in the scenes that accompany them. You’re welcome. BUT WAIT! Did i mention this show is nothing but sexual tension hell!!! Everything us forced and looks like rape, BUT IT’S JUST BLOODSUCKING! Only once do we get like something more then that I think. Great freaking show guys lololol, the best I tell ya.

All in all this was a hilarious fucking ride and I’m sooo happy I watched it because it’s such trash! My score is literally due to how much I laughed while watching it. Oh what, season 2 begins this season….oh fuck yes I will be watching that! I’ll finally know what happens to bitch-chan!!!


Score


2/5 because god damn it can make me laugh!

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Leave a comment to Diabolik Lovers – Anime

  1. Diabolik Lovers was so bad. I don’t know how the girl is alive. She gets her blood sucked out every single hour lol. That creepy shota guy was creepy. The art was beautiful, though. I really liked the way each episode was symbolised by the clock in the title screen. (wow what a weak compliment)

    Lets watch Diabolik Lovers S2 together senpaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

  2. I don’t understand what your issue is with BISHIES BEING SEXY <3 DIABOLIK S2 HYPE

  3. I just finished watching this. 10/10 unforgettable experience. Thank you Brandi for changing my life <3

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